Term 3 is a strange beast, one where very little hockey is played, purple is drunk rarely and moderately, and where a plug seat in one of the quiet bits of the library becomes a more valuable chunk of real estate than a 5-bed penthouse apartment in Mayfair.
Since I haven’t got anything much on at the moment and it’s sort of my job, I’ve been assigned by Emperor Tiberiyoung to stop trying to light my own farts and write a season review.
As we all know, Varsity is the most important fixture of the season, albeit one that has been something of a foregone conclusion in recent years. Rumours of some Tricky Belgian Erasmus Students playing for Coventry notwithstanding, many turned up to watch what was expected to be the requisite mauling that we have grown used to. However, this year, armed with the knowledge that a win on the night would secure overall victory for Warwick University, Team ‘Good At Life’ promptly went 2-1 down at half time amid scenes of an impending bottle the likes of which had not been seen since Liverpool’s 2012-13 season.
Naturally, first team captain James Morrison had something to say when that half time whistle blew. Despite this, the team rallied and 10 minutes into the second half, grabbed a much needed goal to restore parity.
This opened the floodgates. Coventry couldn’t just sit back any more, and as a result the goals started flowing. A quick salvo from Sid, Mathias and Jiggins gave us a cushion and silenced the opposition crowd. Not long after this, the cards started flying as well, with one of said ‘Tricky Belgian Erasmus Students’ picking up a second yellow card for what can be best described as an RKO (link provided for the uninitiated), reducing Coventry to 10. After two more for Warwick and one for Coventry, we were treated to the final act of what was a superbly high drama game as Coventry’s captain decided that tackling was too hard, fed his elbow to fresh midfielder Chris Richardson and netted himself Coventry’s second red card of the game. Quoth The Boar’s attendant writer stating ‘They’ve lost their heads completely. This is like when Spurs lost the league at Stamford Bridge, so decided to kill Chelsea.’
Final score Warwick 7 – 3 Coventry.
The loss of some key forward players to the real world and injury, amounting to around 100 goals per season meant that it would be a season of consolidation and rebuilding for the self-appointed ‘Team Good At Life’. Despite this and a somewhat turbulent start to the season, some remarkable results were pulled off, from the 7-3 thrashing of now promoted Rugby and East Warwickshire to the win over Cambridge 1s in the BUCS Trophy. A penalty strokes victory that came after a heroic defensive performance and a 0-0 draw against a team in the division above. Losing out in the next round to South Prem B winners Oxford 1s, there is a great deal that can be taken from the heart and passion shown by the team as they carry on into next season and hope for a strong fresh crop.
Mixed fortunes were a running theme for the 2s also this season, topping their Saturday league and seeing them promoted to Midlands Premier with several games to spare but finishing bottom of their BUCS league, despite having a higher points tally than last year. Although just one game was won, four were drawn and a handful of errors cost them dearly against opposition that actually held some semblance of physical fitness. While a BUCS reshuffle may save them yet, this remains to be seen and if things finish as they stand now, they will begin next season in a league that lies parallel to the 3s in the BUCS pyramid.
On Saturdays, however, they led from the front and there was nary a slip as they topped the league at a canter. The second teams of Beeston, Loughborough Uni and Cannock await, and the whole side looks on with excitement at the coming games.
Somehow finding themselves 7 points clear at the top of Midlands 1 as the first term ended, Team Sex/Plot/Darb/Bottle/Identity Crisis found themselves suffering from a severe case of altitude sickness. Being more used to propping up the table, the heady heights of first were uncharted territory for the side as they saw unprecedented form in both leagues. Sadly this was not to last as a string of poor results saw them slide out of the promotion spots with just two games to go. In spite of this disappointment, they became the BUCS kingmakers with the last touch of the last game of the season, scoring on the final whistle to beat Nottingham 2-1 and deny them promotion.
Updated 16:19 - 18 Feb 2018 by Matthew Kemp
‘We did okay’ –Ashley Hannah, Value Captain